By Sarah Peterson, PHRca, SHRM-SCP
Conversations between managers and employees are one of the most influential—and often overlooked—factors when dealing with mental health in the workplace.
Managers are not expected to be therapists. But they do set the tone for how employees experience their day-to-day work, how safe they feel speaking up, and whether challenges are addressed early or are allowed to escalate. In many cases, a simple conversation can make the difference between an employee getting back on track or continuing to struggle in silence.
For many employees, their direct manager represents “the company.” The way a manager communicates and their level of sincerity and sensitivity, especially when an employee is not meeting performance expectations, can either build trust or create distance.
When employees feel that they can speak to their managers openly about their mental health struggles or challenges, employers will often find that issues are identified earlier, engagement and retention improve and support can be offered before performance declines to the point of no return.
Of course, employees who do not feel that they can communicate their mental health struggles – or any struggles for that matter – to their managers or worse, feel that the organization holds a negative view of mental health issues, may be experiencing challenges in the workplace. The struggles may show up as performance issues, communication gaps, increased absenteeism or lack of engagement and retention issues.
When Performance Conversations Miss the Mark
Most managers never receive any supervisor/manager skills training. If they do, the training is typically geared toward addressing common performance issues and basic managerial skills. While those conversations are necessary, they can fall short if they don’t allow room for context.
A sudden shift in performance can be a signal. However, without conversations intended to identify the “why”, managers are left to assume causes like lack of motivation, bad attitude, poor work ethic, disinterest in the role, or that the employee lacks the skills to be successful.
But in reality, the employee may be dealing with stress, burnout, or other mental health challenges impacting their work.
What “Can We Talk?” Should Look Like
Effective conversations don’t require managers to have all the answers. What matters most is how they approach the discussion. The following steps and examples can help managers engage in meaningful and effective conversations with employees.
- Observe without judgement. Begin by bringing up what has changed without making assumptions about why.
Example: “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter in meetings and missed a few important deadlines.”
- Invite them to share without interrogating them. Give employees the opportunity to share without pressure.
Example: “I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
- Listen more than you speak. Employees are more likely to open up when they feel they’ll be met with empathy, not judgement.
Example: “My goal is to support you and also make sure we’re addressing the work—so any context you can share helps me do that better.”
- Avoid diagnosing. Managers should not attempt to label mental health conditions or provide personal advice. The goal is to understand.
Example: “My role is to make sure you’re set up to succeed, so it’s helpful for me to understand what has getting in the way.”
- Reinforce support and available resources. If appropriate, remind employees of available resources like EAPs or internal support channels.
Example: “Let’s keep the conversation going—this doesn’t have to be a one-time check-in and if it would be helpful, I can connect you with HR.”
Managers don’t need to be experts in mental health to make a meaningful impact with their employees. Small shifts in how managers approach performance issues can have a significant impact on how supported an employee feels—and how effectively issues are addressed.
Creating a Culture Where Conversations Happen
Organizations that prioritize these types of conversations tend to see stronger outcomes across the board. That starts with equipping managers with the tools and confidence to engage in them. Encouraging managers to ask that simple question, “Can we talk?” — can open the door to earlier intervention, stronger manager-employee relationships, retention and a more engaged and resilient workforce.